10 Things that Never Happened to a WyndhamPrice
by pari106
Summary: 10 100-word drabbles inspired by a challenge at TtH. Involves situations Wesley Wyndham-Price has never been in - a crossover with Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, Minority Report, Charmed, Cat Woman...and others.
1. Tonks and Tokari Demons

Thanks: to everyone who reviewed this fic at TtH. And to Cutiepie for pointing out a typo in "Daddy, the Rogue Demon-Hunter" :p

Tonks and Tokari Demons

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; the HP characters are J.K. Rowling's.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… considered returning to England?

It felt surprisingly good to be back in England. Wesley had even found himself a Slayer in need of Watching. So he had more than just demon killing to keep him busy, most days.

"No, no. Nymphadora… You have to aim more … yes, like _that. _Anything but a clean decapitation will just make him angry."

Granted, Watching a Tonks was turning out to be a challenge - even considering Wesley's past experiences with Faith…

"Nymphadora!"

Wesley watched in horror as Nymphadora tripped with her battle ax and cleaved off her Tokari demon's ear, rather than his head.

"Oh, my."


	2. In Harmony

In Harmony  
  
series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price  
  
by pari  
  
[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; Star Trek: Voyager belongs to Paramount, Viacom, etc.   
  
Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… got in touch with his feminine side?  
  
"No, really, Angel. You have to listen. It's me."  
  
Wesley was nearly panicked. He only maintained control by remembering that this could be fixed.  
  
It could be fixed.  
  
It was going to be fixed because Wesley was not spending the rest of his life in a Harmony body. Nor would he allow Harmony to continue on as she had been in Wesley's form.  
  
Harmony stared down at the lower half of herself… erm, himself… in wonder.  
  
"Wow, Wesley. I never knew."  
  
Wesley grabbed Angel by his shirtfront, wrinkling the silk in his newly feminine fists.   
  
"Find Steth now, Angel! Please!"  
  
[ A/N: Steth appeared in the episode "Vis a Vis" and stole Ensign Paris' body. For this, I'm assuming Steth's capabilities give him an unlimited life span, and that he'd really been familiar with humans before he'd come aboard the Voyager. So it's AU. Obviously :p ] 


	3. Now That's Good Chocolate

Now That's Good Chocolate

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; the HP characters are J.K. Rowling's; the NCIS crew belong to Paramount Pictures and Donald P. Bellisario; That 70's Show belongs to Carsey-Werner.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… visited Point Place, West Virginia? Circa the 1970's…

Wesley wasn't sure why the PTB had dropped him in the Midwest, in the '_70_'s. At first he'd thought it was to defeat a demon posing as an employee at the local Cheese Barn…

At least Wesley had acquired a place to stay while he figured things out, by intervening when the cheese salesman assaulted a nearby youth.

Wesley sat in a basement with his newfound friends. He was grateful one of the teens had agreed to let Wesley sleep over. Wesley felt… warm. And hungry. And a little… _funny_.

"What sort of brownies did you say these were again?"

[ A/N: This takes place in the T7S episode where Jackie kisses the character played by Danny Masterson's brother. Remember? Jackie's deceptively fragile-looking, freakishly strong co-worker, who turned out to have a black belt? :p Eh. Just trust me. ]


	4. Here, Kitty kitty

Here, Kitty kitty…

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; Cat Woman was created by DC Comics.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… met a woman with a similar taste in battle accessories?

"Now, now. It happens to men all the time. You just got a little excited and… misfired."

Wesley paused in his struggles. The vamps he'd been pursuing were gone; a leather-clad female was pressed intimately against him. He was tangled up in the cord of her whip, as she was in his.

"I did not misfire, madam. I was _aiming_ at you. How was I to know you weren't one of them, in that get-up?"

"Hmm. You aimed, you fired, you caught me. What now? Gonna keep me?"

Wesley swallowed at the thought and…

Good God, did she just _purr_?


	5. Daddy the Rogue Demonhunter

Daddy the Rogue Demon-Hunter

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; Charmed belongs to the WB and Spelling Productions.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… thought of raising Connor himself?

Thanks: to Kimmy. My most faithful reviewer, and a very good friend :)

Fatherhood suited Wesley.

It wasn't easy. There had been a difficult period of adjustment in the beginning. And living life on the lam from Angel was no piece of cake.

But Wesley was actually enjoying Connor. And he'd moved them into a neighborhood near the nicest trio of young witches. Piper even had a son of her own for Connor to play with.

If only good babysitting wasn't so hard to find when the girls were out…

Slaying demons was so much more difficult with a baby carrier strapped to his chest and a bottle warmer slung over his arm.

[ A/N: I'd actually like to write a long fic in which Wesley takes off with Connor instead of handing him over to Holtz. I'm working on it. Anyone interested in reading it when it's done? ]


	6. A Minor Misunderstanding

A Minor Misunderstanding

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; Minority Report belong to 20th Century Fox.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never saw it coming.

Warning: Spoilers for Angel's final season…

Wesley's world revolved around the extra-human, so sometimes he forgot how much trouble _ordinary_ humans could be 

John Anderton reminded him.

Everything worked out in the end. Angel and the rest helped Wesley throw Anderton off his tail. Then they got word that Anderton had brought down the Pre-Crime division himself.

"Good riddens," Lorne said of the news.

"Yeah," Fred agreed. "What quacks. Wesley, a murderer!"

Wesley was as incredulous as the others, and laughed with them at the absurd thought. Wesley… a murderer. Yes, Anderton had been mistaken.

Why _ever_ would _Wesley _try to murder his friend, Charles Gunn?


	7. Nondisclosure

Non-Disclosure

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; the NCIS crew belong to Paramount Pictures and Donald P. Bellisario.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… considered a career with the US government?

"Yes, I'd seen this once before… in Lisbon in '66..."

Wesley and the others exchanged fond looks, quietly abandoning an incredulous Abby to suffer Ducky's latest ramble alone.

"So…Chinese?" Tony suggested.

"Sure. Let me get my purse."

As the men waited for Kate, Gibbs approached.

"Price. You never told me how you knew Boedecker would have an allergic reaction to _sugar_."

Wesley thought of all he knew about demons with sugar allergies and human forms. He hadn't yet disclosed certain aspects of his past to the team.

"Um…intuition?"

Tony beamed.

"See, Boss. I told you he'd be a quick study."


	8. And Representing the World's Youngest Cr...

And Representing the World's Youngest Criminal Mastermind…

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; Artemis Fowl and friends belong to Eoin Colfer.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… practiced law for Wolfram and Hart.

It was times like these Wesley regretted studying law. He should have been a Watcher like his father. He shouldn't have followed Angel to a law firm that handled clients like these.

At present, Wesley's office held a teenaged boy, his bodyguard, four _elves_, a centaur, a dwarf, and a pretty young girl with wicked-looking spikes poking out of her braid. The humans kept talking about mind wipes. Everyone else called Wesley "Mud Man" and spoke to him in short sentences.

From the doorway, Angel raised his hands.

"Don't look at me, Counselor. I'm just here to enjoy the show."


	9. You Just Have to Know Where to Look

You Just Have to Know Where to Look

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

[ A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389) ]

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss; Lonestar State of Mind was written by Trevor Munson and produced by Marshall Herskovitz, Richard Solomon, and Edward Zwick.

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never… met a "Savior" from Bennett, Texas.

"Yes, and thank you again. For all your… help."

Wesley exchanged looks with Fred and Gunn, as they said goodbye to the two young men who had unexpectedly come to their aid. One of them was a P.I. here in Los Angeles, he'd said. Named _Jesus _Earl Crest.

After the dust had settled (and the ashes) and those folks from Wolfram and Hart had gone back to their office building… Jimbo turned to Earl.

"Hey, Earl. You know that guy back there with the glasses? You think he might be gay? 'Coz he's kinda cute."

"I have my doubts, Jimbo."

[ A/N: this will undoubtedly make no sense to you if you haven't seen this movie. which is just hilarious. it's a weird choice for a crossover with AtS, I know - but I wanted to write something different than usual for each of these, and I was watching this movie the other day (Joshua Jackson in a cowboy hat) and decided to go with it. so there is the method in my madness. such as it is ;p ]


	10. Normal

Normal

series: 10 Things that Never Happened to a Wyndham-Price

by pari

A response to the 10 Things that Never Happened challenge at TtH (#389)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Wesley and co. belong to Joss;

Summary: 10 things that never happened to Wesley Wyndham-Price. This part: Wesley never thought he'd see the day…

Wesley never thought he'd see the day when _that_ face smiled sweetly at _him_.

Of course…it wasn't Faith smiling - however much this _Tru_ looked like her. Still…

The resemblance was _uncanny_.

Wesley had been reeling over it, ever since Tru had told him she'd seen him lying on one of her examination tables.

"Right. Well… If you want to help me with this, you'll need swords. Amparae demons are easier to kill with a sword."

The resemblance faded. Tru looked green at the thought of decapitating a slimy demon.

Her friend - Harrison - turned to Wesley and shook his head.

"You just couldn't have died doing something normal, could you?"


End file.
